Many Have Had a Rough Life

Truth be told, many have had a rough life growing up. Most have been traumatized on some level. Some on the most extreme. The conditions in which they grew up left imprints that affects their present-day life. Empathy is a very good thing. Understanding cause and effect helps us make room for compassion.

We all want to be understood, but it is equally important to understand that empathy does not equate to a free pass. It is vital to take responsibility for our thoughts, behavior and attitudes. None of us can afford to use our past as an excuse to not improve our life – to make requisite changes for the better. That’s not hyperbole; that’s Bible.

1 Corinthians 10:12 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

When extreme emotions are involved, it is easy to feel as if you are the only one who experiences hardship. Let us underscore the word, feel, because what we feel is not necessarily reality. When emotions are not under subjection to Holy Spirit, they can lie to us. How many assumptions do people make, because of what they feel? For example, one who dislikes himself may superimpose that feeling on someone else. “That person doesn’t like me.”  That feeling produced a perception, which created its own reality. For the sake of the example, the person actually is deeply fond of him.

Damaged emotions can be very deceptive, which is why it’s important to ask God for clarity. Asking one’s self questions can also be helpful. For instance, “Is that really true? What evidence is there?” Sometimes, we need to look outward: “Is that really fair to that person to think such a thing?” Here’s something commonly said: “God hates me.” Since God is love, is that statement based on reality? Of course not. This person simply cannot grasp that God does love him, because he does not love himself. It’s inconceivable to him.

Likewise, people self-sabotage to prove their hypotheses about themselves. Keeping with our example, they may behave badly toward others, in order to incur rejection. “See, I told you they didn’t like me.” How many individuals test God’s love in the same fashion? One quick lesson: one’s behavior does not necessarily point to one’s character. It may reveal a need for healing. A need for change.

It is important to understand there are billions of people who have had it rough. Why is that important? It would be easy to make it about yourself, have a pity party, and fall in love with being a victim. It is self-centered, and unbiblical. It is the polar opposite of His character and image, of which we are called to conform. It’s vital to think differently.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

A True Disciple Will Change

Matthew 16:24-25 Then said Jesus unto His disciples, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it.

In order to follow Jesus, we have to let go of everything -including our past. It includes denying ourselves the right to play the victim card. It does not mean we deny things happened; but we don’t turn them into pets to keep on a leash. Taking up our cross means being crucified with Christ.

Philippians 3:7-8 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ (NASB).

Some wear their difficult past as a badge of honor. They take pride in their sufferings, and also use them to manipulate others. When reading, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17), you discover circumstances have changed. It’s harder to feel sorry for ourselves when considering everything God has done for us. Each of us needs to take responsibility for our lives by submitting to Him.

“You don’t understand, my father was never there for me. All he ever did was abuse me.” You have a new Father, Whom you may call ABBA (Daddy). He loves you, and is always with you. If God is our Father, how can any of us feel sorry for his or her self? Some were orphans; and yet, God is a Father to the fatherless. Moreover, He has much better things in store for us. If you want to keep your pet, go ahead. But if you do, you will miss the better things He has for you.

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