Brutal Honesty
To be upfront, this may get brutal, even though it’s not the intent. Behind it is love, with the hopes of bringing clarity and healing. Moreover, as I write this, know that these things are addressed to me as well. Prayerfully, this will cause all of us to grow, and to grow together. That being said, let’s begin.
A broken or strained relationship, may be an indication that a person’s relationship with God is off-center. Obviously, it may involve both parties. When you get to the nuts and bolts of it, if a someone’s relationship with God is off, it affects his or her relationship with others. Especially, if there’s a disconnect with love.
Are not broken or strained relationships ultimately the result of selfishness? It is also an indicator of pride prevailing in one’s life. Love is not selfish! One thing is clear, the flesh has more control than Holy Spirit. Speaking of which, the individual decides who gets to be in charge. You decide if you’re going to submit to Holy Spirit, or the flesh. The Lord gave us the grace, or God-given ability to choose (read Romans 6:1-23).
Romans 8:13-14 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Relationships suffer when individuals rely on the other person to make them happy. In some cases, they expect the other to serve, with little or no return. How often have you heard someone reply, “because she makes me happy,” when someone is asked why he loves another? That could be a red flag. Happiness is an inside job, it’s not up others to make you happy. Big time departure from love.
Love takes joy in the recipient, for the recipient’s sake alone. There is no expectation of return, or perhaps more accurately, no sense of entitlement. If you are doing things to get some form of response or affirmation, you’re not doing them for love’s sake. You’re doing them for yourself. Have you ever felt like you were being manipulated when someone did something for you? Some gifts are no gifts at all, especially when there are strings attached (stating the obvious, read 1 Corinthians 13:1-10).
Pride is easily offended, and is one reason some refuse to forgive another. Oh, they may say they forgive, but they’re still holding a grudge. That is not forgiveness. Something is not right. Does Jesus hold a grudge? The clear answer is no. When you hold a grudge, you not being Christ-like, period!
A grudge reveals one is keeping score. The Bible makes it clear love keeps no record of wrong. On a sidenote, not all wrongs were intentional. Similarly, some might feel they’re being wronged by another, even when they weren’t, because of a misunderstanding. Can you say, “communication breakdown?
Relationship Counseling
Whose counsel do you seek when it comes to relationships? To whose advise do you pay attention? These are important questions, and that may sound rather obvious. How many Christians are taking worldly advice about spiritual matters? It’s important to realize such advice can be downright ungodly, though it may sound good. The wisdom of man is not as brilliant as some believe. Incidentally, some famous counselors are not as wise as they look. Since when does the wisdom of man eclipse the wisdom of God?
Some of that counsel to which people listen, actually appeals to pride. It strokes the ego, and encourages self-pity. Some avoid godly counsel because it demands personal responsibility and change. What does Jesus require of those who want to come after Him?
Here’s what He said: If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it (Matthew 16:24-25).
Because some will not follow Jesus according to His Word, their relationships suffer. This underscores what was previously said: broken or strained relationships are a sign that someone’s relationship with God is off-center. Are you loving others in the way God intended?
