Apologies and Forgiveness

Do you need an apology before you will forgive someone? How many hold grudges for years and years, all because they never got one? How does that work for someone who says he or she is a Christian?

Those who withhold forgiveness are by default holding themselves in unforgiveness. Jesus put it plainly: For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions (Matthew 6:14-15).

He didn’t mention an apology as being a prerequisite. Holding a grudge does not give a person a position of power over another, even though it may feel that way. Some maintain resentment, so they can draw on anger. That anger gives them a sense of power. What they don’t realize it’s binding up blessings from God. Moreover, it’s a departure from love.

The Cross and Forgiveness

What did Jesus say while being crucified? Here’s what He said: Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). He did not say, “Father forgive them after they apology to me for what they did.”

Don’t gloss over the last part of what He said: “they know not what they do.” Some people are unaware that they offended someone. They didn’t realize they did something wrong. They’ll go on unaffected, while this so-called offense eats his or her lunch day after day. “Don’t they know what they did to me?” No, they don’t.

Even those who knew they transgressed, may have been out their mind at the time they crossed the line. Perhaps, in that moment they were not in the right head-space, and acted inappropriately, or said something wrong. Maybe, they knew they would be out of line, but crossed it anyway. Does that mean you have to take up the offense?

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.

It is simple as that: if you fail to forgive and hold on to that grudge, you are not walking in love.

If someone hurt you, it’s okay to tell them. However, the idea is to maintain the relationship. When it comes down to it, you decide if something will offend you or not. Think about this: anger does have a place. It’s there to combat injustice and to protect others when necessary. It is not there to protect your ego. Don’t let pride get in the way of relationship.

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

It was for love Jesus went to the Cross. He died in order to cleanse from our sins, so we could be reconciled unto God. Do you allow yourself to be moved by love? Love does not hold a grudge!

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