Table of Contents
Here’s a Serious Question
Here’s a question for you dads: How do you want your children (child) to view God the Father? The reason for the question is children are greatly influenced in the way they see Him by their earthly fathers. More pointedly, you.
Do Your Children Know Unconditional Love?
Do your children have to earn your love and affection? Do they have to live up to some sort of standard? If so, can you live up to it? Or, do you love them unconditionally, and you make sure they know it? Perhaps, it’s somewhere in between. If a child has to earn a father’s love, he or she will tend feel unworthy to receive the love of God. Conversely, if they know they’re unconditionally loved regardless of their conduct, they will be more apt to freely receive His love.
How do You Nurture?
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
It is interesting to note this verse does not say, “mothers, provoke not.” Neither does it say, “parents, provoke not. This is aimed at fathers. Provoke (Strong’s Concordance Number: 3949) in the Greek, is a compound word. To anger alongside, i.e. enrage. It is also rendered as “anger.” To provoke to anger, irritation, or resentment. This type of anger is not a quick burst, then it’s finished; rather, it has a long slow burn. In severe cases, it can lead to revenge. This is the one that can lead to deep, long-term resentment.
The NASB renders it this way: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The call is to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. How one does this very thing can have long-term consequences -good or bad.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. NASB: Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
This passage of Scripture is similar, but has another meaning attached to it. In this case, provoke means to stimulate, stir or excite to anger. It can go as far as to rouse to fight (Strong’s Concordance Number: 2042). Unfortunately, in some instances, fathers and sons have gone to blows.
There are a variety of ways to provoke your children. Even in the way you “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” can turn them away from God. There is such a thing as being too strict, and overbearing, which has been known to lead children to rebel against their parents, and ultimately against God. Obviously, not being firm enough can also lead to rebellion.
God always disciplines us for our good (see Hebrews 6:5-11). He’s measured. He is our Example. There is a difference between being firm, and harsh. Just as there is difference between punishment out of anger, and measured discipline out of love. One strikes out of anger, with no real thought to the end result. This can lead to a broken spirit. It also leads to an angry adult who doesn’t cope very well.
If harshness, and anger is the norm, a child will tend to see God the Father as someone who is always angry with him or her. He becomes a tyrant in his or her view. Couple this with guilt, shame and condemnation, and you will find someone who both blames God for everything wrong, and feels unworthy to approach Him. Such children become bitter, and turn away from Him. Obviously, it is not exactly conducive to a healthy relationship between the father and the child.
If disappointment is used like a weapon, children will feel as if they can never do anything right. Some carry that into adulthood. Moreover, they tend feel like a disappointment to God.
If you are kind, gentle, but firm when need be, they are apt to view God as kind, gentle, and firm in loving manner. If you are present with them, they get a sense of importance. This makes it far easier for them to believe they are important in His sight.
Dads are not perfect. There are no Parenting 101 courses available. Everyone blows it from time to time. In those moments, own it. Admit it, and ask them to forgive you. Obviously, go to God, but to don’t forget to learn from it, and forgive yourself should you miss the mark. It is very meaningful to children when their dad repents, admits his wrong, and asks for their forgiveness. Generally, children are very forgiving, and resilient.
The list of how dads may influence their children in various circumstances is longer than we have time to address here. Perhaps, the rule of thumb is to treat your children as God the Father would treat them, with the help of Holy Spirit. As the saying going, what children learn is more often caught than taught. By the grace of God, there go we!
