How to Forgive Yourself

Normally, I try not to get overly personal in our blog posts; but this, I feel is important enough to share. Lately, I have talked with a number of people who have been struggling with the same issue. That issue is forgiving themselves. Even though we have touched on this subject in past posts, I felt pressed to address this struggle head on and hard. For you who find it difficult to let yourself off the hook, I pray that you receive this in love and finally are able to be free of this chain forever, in Jesus’ Name!
Question, why did you ask God to forgive you, if you will not forgive yourself? Are you greater than God? Is His forgiveness less valuable than yours? His forgiveness came with a Price, the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ. Who paid it, Him or you? Since He did indeed pay the price for it, do you suppose He wants you receive it? Okay, you might want to make up for your past; then, do it His way. This leads to the first step of forgiving yourself.
Jesus said, “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me” (KJV). Part of denying the self is not allowing the self to decide what is right and wrong. We let God decide that because He is God. That means that you have to stop making it about you and make it about Him. You have to stop asserting yourself in the forgiveness equation. If you did call on the Name of Jesus, you gave up the right to hold yourself in unforgiveness. Scripture clearly says you were bought with a price and you are not your own (see 1Corinthians 6:19-20).
Jesus Christ paid the price for your sin. When you refuse to forgive yourself, you insult Him. Are you saying He is not worthy? In Revelation, we see all of heaven declaring with one voice, “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain!” He is worthy for you to be forgiven. You see, it is not about you; it’s about Him. Did you know that the righteousness of Jesus is our righteousness? 2Corinthians 5:21 For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (KJV). You cannot make yourself righteous when He already did that job at the Cross and Resurrection. Because He is worthy, you are worthy, and He is worthy for you to be worthy. Jesus is worthy for you to forgive yourself and enjoy the relationship with God.
2Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. Did you have godly sorrow that led you to repentance, or do you plan to keep sinning? What is your desire? Worldly sorrow basically is more concerned about feeling bad for getting caught. It feels bad to not look good. Worldly sorrow is hypocrisy which is pretending to be something you are not. A hypocrite is an actor. Do not confuse struggling with sin and shortcomings with hypocrisy. They are different. A hypocrite does not struggle with sin because he or she is unconcerned with it. They’re concerned with not looking bad, remember? Yes, we all blow it from time to time. Hopefully, less and less as we mature. If you don’t care about true righteousness, then there is a problem. Struggling is not a bad thing in the sense that there is a desire for purity. Better still, receive the righteousness of Jesus and walk in peace.
A humungous step to forgiving yourself is believing God and taking Him at His Word. God is not a man of his word because He is not a man who would lie. He is the Word and He places His Word above His Name. The Bible clearly tells us that God cannot lie. “I thought God could do what He wants,” one might say. God never thinks or does anything that is contrary to His nature.
What does God say about forgiveness and calling on the Name of Jesus? Is He a respecter of persons? Are you saying, then, that the Father wants everyone to receive forgiveness, except you? Is it not a slap in the face when you refuse what He gives so freely, yet cost Him so dearly? That is not to put a guilt trip on you; rather, to get you to think about what you are doing.
What you did in the past does not define you. What defines you is what God says about you. Therefore, since He said you are righteous in Christ Jesus, then you are righteous. If He calls you His child, then you belong to Him. To be born again means to be born from above, which means you are a son or daughter of God. You are no longer a sinner. You are no longer that person, you and the devil accuse you of being. Having a relapse, does not mean you went back into the world. If you did you would not care.
Stop focusing on your past. After all, it is passed away (see 2Corinthians 5:17). It is dead because your old nature is dead (see Galatians 2:20). Focus on who you are in Christ Jesus. When you focus on His righteousness, you will walk righteously. Trying “not to sin anymore” is still being sin-conscious, which means you will keep dong those things you don’t want to do. When we try not to sin, we fall into doing our own works and relying on our strength. You are saved by grace through faith and not of yourself, it is a gift of God and not of your works (see Ephesians 2:8-9). His grace is truly sufficient.
Finally, with man the things of God are impossible. That is why He gave us His grace which is unmerited favor that enables us. Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (KJV). Tell God you need help. He will give you the grace or ability you need. Make the decision to forgive yourself in His strength.

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