What Does Forgiveness Look Like For Me?

Confidence with God begins to set in your heart when you realize your sin has been forgiven. Realizing there is no chasm between you and God vastly changes the relationship with Him. The question mark has been removed from the back of your mind in relation to salvation. Peace has found a wide-open door through which to invade your heart. Hope solidifies, and your feet feel firm for the first time, because you realize you’re standing on the Rock. No storm with its wind and driving rain can remove your newly discovered foundation.
   How does one know emphatically he’s been forgiven?  Three things emerge: one is the reliability of the Word of God. It transcends what our emotions may try to suggest to us, such as, “I don’t feel forgiven.”

If you were sincere with God, then know the sincerity of His Word. When He says He forgives those who repent and ask for forgiveness, He does.  When God says those who call on the Name of Jesus will be saved, it is so. As trite as it may sound, you know you’re forgiven because He says you’re forgiven.
   Hebrews 10:1-2 For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect. For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins.
   Secondly, sin-consciousness vacates your mind. You no longer worry about sin ruling your life. In the process of trusting God’s Word, you’ll find you no longer give the sin you committed any further consideration. You may remember things you’ve done, but they no longer haunt you.  They’ve become a nonissue.

It is like reading a book in the third person in which you read about someone else; it’s no longer a biography or an autobiography. Why? Because it really is about someone else -the old man. In Jesus Christ, you are a completely new, never existed before creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).  That means it really is not you.
   Hebrews 10:7-10 Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. Above when He said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law.

Then said He, Lo, I come to do Thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that He may establish the second. By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

Be sure to read Hebrews 10:1-25.
   Confidence in prayer emerges as well. No one is confident with God when they feel as if sin is lurking in his heart. Of course, if he truly does have sin, there is no assurance of answered prayer, until he properly deals with it.

When the weight of sin no longer rests on your shoulders, you are free to move in the Spirit. Boldness with God increases in your heart. There is nothing in the way of your prayers getting to His ears. You know it! You are at the point where Holy Spirit bears witness to your spirit that you are a child of God. A young child has absolute confidence with his or her Abba (Daddy).

Forgiveness: Stop Holding Yourself Accountable

No one is saying there is no accountability for our actions, because we are accountable. However, the way we handle that accountability makes a big difference. By now, most realize we repent, ask and receive forgiveness when we blow it. That’s a no-brainer. Once you’ve received forgiveness, there is another critical step.
   Forgive yourself and move on. Learn from your mistakes, press toward to the mark of your high calling. Stop digging up your past, or more appropriately, stop trying to dig up the old man. He’s dead, and you are new. It’s over, even if someone tries to throw your past in your face. Let it go!
   “I can’t!” Yes you can by the grace of God. It’s time to believe God when He says you’re forgiven. Remember, justice was served at the Cross. It would be unjust on your part to not forgive yourself, if God already has for the sake of Jesus. In short, Jesus is worthy for you to be forgiven. Ask for help and come into agreement with Him.
When you’re free from sin, you’re free to love, pray, serve and enjoy the relationship with Him! That’s His will for you, embrace it! That’s what forgiveness looks like for you, if you receive it.
One final thought to leave with you: in Jesus Christ, sin has no dominion over you.
   Roman 6:6-9 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him: Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
   Romans 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

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   Can we translate Jesus’ example of forgiveness into our own lives? Absolutely! He has empowered each of us to do just that; otherwise, we wouldn’t be exhorted to forgive.
   Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
   Negative emotions can interfere with forgiveness. Emotions in general make great servants, but they should never be our masters. They can be tyrants when left to themselves. If we’re honest, we have to admit forgiveness does not come easy when heated passion is overwhelming our senses. Hence, the exhortation to rid ourselves of these volatile emotions and behavior.
   Have you ever felt stuck, and it took a long time to forgive someone? Maybe even now, you feel like you cannot forgive. Again, don’t let your feelings stop you. It starts with a decision, not an emotion. We’ll drill down on this one in a moment. Just know God’s grace is there is to help.
   It may appear as if justice or the sense of fair play would be diminished by forgiveness. Biblically, it does not lessen them at all; in fact, it would be unjust if you did not forgive. And yes, you would be totally unfair by withholding forgiveness. How could we not forgive another, when we ourselves have been forgiven so much? Was it fair for Jesus to take on our sins at the Cross? At the Cross, justice was served. The price of sin was paid in full. What did Jesus teach?
   In the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, Jesus tells us of a servant who was forgiven an un-payable debt by a certain king. After being forgiven, he refused to forgive another servant who owed him considerably less. When the king heard about it, he was extremely angry. This is how he responded to the servant:
   “O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: ” Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? ” And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. (Matthew 18:32-34).  
   Moreover, Jesus said, “So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses ” (Matthew 18:35). In short, if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. Be sure to read Matthew 18:15-35 and Matthew 6:14-15.
   Great! I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I’m still on the struggle bus. Time to drill down. God never asks or commands us to do anything we could never do. He made provision for everything. In this case, He provided grace and mercy. Grace enables us to do the “impossible;” like extending mercy.
   Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
   Talk to Him about your struggle. Ask for the ability to make the decision which will override the emotions and false narratives. Ask for His compassion to flood your heart. Submit to Holy Spirit, thereby bringing your emotions under His control.
    And if you feel the need for revenge, forgive! Forgiveness is the ultimate revenge, especially, when you consider the enemy of your soul would love you to withhold forgiveness. He does not want you to forgive anyone, and he most certainly doesn’t want you to receive forgiveness. Revenge would be gaining a brother or sister by extending undeserved mercy. But then, none of us deserved mercy.

What Forgiveness Looks Like for Us

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender feelings of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, forbearing one another and forgiving yourselves, if anyone has a complaint against any. As Christ forgave you, so also you do. And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness.
   Do you like to set yourself up for success? Here are some things you can do to make forgiving others a winnable endeavor:

• Purpose to be kind. Kindness is a quality that leads to repentance (see Romans 2:4).
• Be tenderhearted: determine to keep your heart soft and teachable. This fends off bitterness.
• Be humble: forgiveness requires humility.
• Stay meek. Meekness is restrained strength, or strength under control. You don’t have to demand your way. You do not have to be “right,” or win the argument. A gentle answer turns wrath away, and lends itself to reconciliation.
• Cut people slack. Remember, not everything is black and white. Not every transgression is premeditated. Things happen. Sometimes people are unaware they were offensive. Similarly, not everyone thinks like you. For instance, what you consider wrong, may not be to someone else.
• With that, employ empathy. People struggle. Sometimes, they’re in a bad place and need mercy. They need healing, and they need someone to be Jesus for them. Some self-sabotage by hurting others. Ask God for wisdom.
• As already stated, submit to Holy Spirit. He gives the self-control required to do all the previous things mentioned.
• Love is the bow on top of the package.

   1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent love to yourselves, for love will cover a multitude of sins.

• Forgive and forget.

To this last point. With forgiveness comes healing; but in some instances, healing takes time. Feeling pain or even anger, doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t forgive. It means the healing is in process. As you focus less on the past, and turn to the present, it will have less of a hold on you. The more submitted to Holy Spirit, the quicker the process. Do not bring things up again. Let love win!
   By the grace of God, you can come to a point where it seems as if an event never took place. At least from an emotional standpoint. Meaning, your emotions are no longer vested in the event. Emotionally, it would be similar to reading a story, where you are not a main character. It feels like you’re reading it from a third person point of view.
   Like love, forgiveness is not something meant to be earned. You could not earn forgiveness from God; it was freely given to you. Albeit, there most certainly was a Price paid. Trust on the other hand may be a different story. When someone was willful in his deed and is unrepentant, you cannot exactly whole heartedly trust him. Not unless, you’re looking to get hurt again. That itself is another topic to consider if you’re one who keeps getting burned.
   To be sure, people have to be given space to repent and change. They can gain back your trust, if you allow them. Some might push back on that idea, but that’s self-preservation kicking in. In the meantime, pray for them like their souls depend on it. Allow Holy Spirit to lead you in how to interact with those who break the trust.
   Remember how God treated you those times you blew it. He forgave and kept the relationship. He didn’t throw it out the window. He continuously gives us mercy and room to grow. If we can change, so can others! Jesus is worthy for us to forgive one another. God forgave us for His sake.

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Christianity 101 teaches us forgiveness is key to reconciliation with God. Without it, we would never have a relationship with Him. Moreover, if we will not forgive others we will not be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15). What if you struggle to forgive others? What about forgiving yourself? What does forgiveness look like? Let see what we can find from God’s perspective.

What Does Forgiveness Looks Like For God

Luke 23:33-34 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted His raiment, and cast lots.

At the Cross, Jesus presents us with the perfect example of forgiveness in a graphic form. In the midst of suffering beyond anything anyone of all time could ever imagine, much less endure, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” How many of us would go out their way to forgive?

Stop, and really consider what’s being said here: how many of us would say, “Forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing” while under severe pain and suffering? Now take it another step, would you willingly suffer for others in order to forgive them?

He not only laid His life down for those you might consider “decent human beings,” He asked God to forgive the very ones who nailed Him to the Cross. That reveals a love beyond human rationale. So yes, it absolutely can be said it was love that kept Jesus on the Cross, not so much the nails.
   John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  
   2 Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, Who hath reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation (putting in us the word of reconciliation).
   The goal of forgiveness is reconciliation. While on the Cross, Jesus did not hold us accountable for our sins; in fact, He took our sins unto Himself. In essence, He sought to place our sins on His account. It’s still up to each person to take Him up on His offer. He didn’t force anyone to receive forgiveness, He left that decision to the individual.                                                                                                                          
   2 Corinthians 5:21 For He hath made Him to be sin for us, Who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.
   Even though, we were the transgressors, God made the first move to reconcile with us. He didn’t wait on people; He went to them. He made it clear He would forgive if we would repent and ask. Just because someone else trespassed against you, doesn’t mean you have to wait for him or her to make the first move -even if you’re totally innocent.
   When you read The Parable of the Parodical Son, did you notice the father went running toward the son when he saw him in the distance (Luke 15:11-32)? He didn’t wait for him; he went after him. Isn’t that what our Father did with us? Scripture reveals you could never approach Him, without Him making the first move. He drew you; you did not draw Him! Check it out in the Bible, if you haven’t already done so.
   Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
  People love this verse in the Bible, and so they should. We know east never meets west; thus, God never reminds us of our past. It is over as far as He is concerned. By the way, if it’s over as far as He is concerned, why would you remind yourself over and over? If you repented and received forgiveness, let it go.
   This leads to another point: if you told someone you forgave him or her, it would be illegal for you to ever bring the issue up again. If you you’re ever tempted or it’s been a habit, ask yourself: Is this the way God treats me? If the other brings it up, it would be a great idea to make it clear you have already forgiven him or her. It is not cool to make someone grovel for forgiveness.
   Next round, we’ll take a look at what forgiveness looks like for us, and how to forgive others should emotions overwhelm you.

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