Everyone has heard of self-talk. You know, what we tell ourselves, and the ways we speak those things. It’s what we tell the one in the mirror what we think about him or her, and how he or she reflects back what we said. It is important to monitor those conversations with ourselves, because they do impact our lives to various degrees –for better or worse. What we say reinforces what we believe to be true, which includes lies. Surely you’ve heard the adage, “If you repeat a lie long enough, people will believe it.” Some of you have been called things at a young age, which you took to heart. You’ve been reiterating them ever since –consciously or unconsciously.
Have you ever made a mistake, and said something like, “Way to go, stupid!”
That is not mere jocular self-deprecation; that’s something heart-felt. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34; Luke 6:45). Think about the attitude and tone behind it. Was there a surge of criticism involved? Even if it was mere self-deprecation, that’s still not necessarily the best thing to say to yourself. To be sure, we cannot afford to take ourselves too seriously. Where’s the fun in that? Just be aware of what is behind it. Pay attention to what voices to which you listen as well.
There are voices of the past that need to be eliminated; otherwise, you may very well find yourself repeating them. Ephesians 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light. While it is true we were once darkness and children of disobedience, it is not who we are today in Jesus Christ.
There are those in the world, who love to remind you of your past; but now, their voices should be considered the voices of strangers.
You don’t have to listen to them anymore; in fact, they should be falling on deaf ears because you’re listening to the voice of Jesus. John 10:2-5 But he who enters in by the door is the Shepherd of the sheep. The doorkeeper opens to Him, and the sheep hear His voice, and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. And when He puts forth his own sheep, He goes before them, and the sheep follow Him. For they know His voice. And they will not follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers. If you identify with what they’re saying to you, you will repeat the lies. You will believe those things, which have been crucified with Christ, still reside in you.
Getting back to, “Way to go stupid!” Some have learned performance equals worth. That’s a lie! Basic Christianity makes it clear performance is now the result of our new nature. Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them. We are loved based on who we are; not what we do. Your worth is not predicated on what you do. So, if you fail to perform well, why would you call yourself worthless? That’s an insult to Jesus!
Do not reinforce the lie by severely criticizing yourself. If you made a mistake, learn from it.
Use it as a building block; not a stumbling block. Make adjustments where needed, but do not equate your worth to the mistake. In a healthy home, when a toddler falls down while learning to walk, his parents don’t consider him worthless; much less, call him that. Why? Because he is a well-loved child. Guess what, you’re a well-loved child in the heart of God our Father. Tell the person in the mirror, “You’re a well-loved child of God!” That’s not arrogance, that’s true humility.
It would be a great idea to compare what you say to yourself with what God says about you. Anything that contradicts His Word is a lie. Be sure you filter it through love, because that is God’s nature. 1 John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God has in us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. What He has to say about you may initially “go against the grain.” This is especially true if you grew up with self-loathing. The Bible tell us to speak the truth in love (see Ephesians 4:15). Do you believe it’s time to speak the truth in love to the one in the mirror? Using factual statements about mistakes and failings is not the same thing. While we need to be honest with ourselves, we do need to vacate fault-finding. (The) Holy Spirit is very good at convicting us when we need to change the way we think, which results in the necessary change in behavior. That is called repentance.
As eluded to earlier, sometimes we have to change our circle of friends in order to move forward. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived; evil companionships corrupt good habits. That doesn’t mean we stop loving them or stop being their friend; it means we don’t hang out with them if they negatively influence us. It’s one thing to influence a negative person for the good; it’s quite another, if he or she negatively influences you.
As the saying goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”
This does not infer that we avoid engaging the lost with the Gospel. The more you fellowship with people who are going the right direction, the more truth will be reinforced in your heart. The more words of godly affirmation you hear, the more you will whisper them in your own ears. What you believe to be true will influence the direction you go. If you receive a lie and speak the lie, chances are you will act on it too.
Finally, be careful about lying to yourself about others. While it is true there will be those who despise you, especially because you’re a disciple of Christ, that does not mean everybody does. Remember, it’s not what you think about others, nor what they think about you; it’s what you think they think about you that can really mess with your head. Perception goes a long way in the way we interact with others. If you believe no one likes you, you will have the perception they think negatively about you. Usually, that stems from your own self-evaluation. When given the opportunity, they may very well prove your hypothesis wrong. Be careful not put them on trial and declare them guilty, before it even begins. Similarly, as stated before, be careful about to whose opinions you listen. People do lie about other people. It’s important to allow discernment from the Spirit to work in your heart. Being suspicious of others is the counterfeit. Ask God for His opinion. Too many sabotage awesome relationships by receiving the lie. Even if someone is in darkness, that does not mean we cannot be light to him or her. Speak to the potential through faith by the Spirit. Seek the truth. Reject the lies and don’t repeat them to yourself. So, what are you going to tell the person in the mirror?
