It can be very disappointing when a brother or sister falls. Whether it’s a well-known believer or a lesser known, sometimes a sense of betrayal accompanies the disappointment. Depending on the sin, some react to the fall in various ways. Some have compassion. Some are indifferent. Yet, some become angry and even hostile, becoming very critical of their fallen brother or sister. How do you deal with it?
The religious tend to shun the fallen. While there is biblical precedent to turn one over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh (see 1 Corinthians 5:1-13), there is also the call for restoration (2 Corinthians 2:1-11). Nonetheless, some outright turn their backs on the fallen. In essence, they’ve become judges (not in the sense of discerning). A religious spirit says, “They deserve to burn!” Because of either religious pride or the fear of man, some are afraid of guilt by association. They’ve lost touch with love.
Some become angry out of fear. What they witnessed testifies against their own heart.
In other words, like a mirror, the action of another reflects back to them that they too could fall if they don’t guard their walk. Perhaps some are battling with the same issue, even though they haven’t acted on it. It’s called exposure –the Mirror of God. What it also reflects they are in an identity crisis. They still haven’t had the revelation of who they are in Jesus Christ. Hence, they still trying to face their fears apart from grace, not understanding the Lord is compassionate and passionate about their victory over sin. The positive is it opens the opportunity for repentance. If they simply ask God to show them what they need to see and how to respond, they themselves could walk free. The plank would be removed from their own eye, which empowers them to graciously restore another without fear of failure (see Matthew 7:1-5).
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity (NASB). How can one be a true friend if he or she turns his or her back on the one who falls? Who will the fallen turn to when he seeks repentance? In his time of need, will he find compassion?
Another question to consider: where was the friend before the fall?
Often, there are signs leading up to failure. To be sure, everyone has to take responsibility for his or her own actions; nonetheless, friends do intervene when they know something’s wrong. If a person turns a blind eye to a friend’s waywardness, and doesn’t confront the situation, didn’t he fail as a friend? Typically, few like confrontation, but with God’s wisdom one can take a stand to protect a friend. It’s a matter of letting the Holy Spirit lead us. If a person did not at least pray for his friend, how can he be so hard on him? As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are supposed to bear one another’s burdens. Naturally, everyone has to ultimately decide what course of action he or she will take. Even God leaves our decisions and choices to us. He may intervene to help us make the correct decisions, but we still have a will of our own. Even so, with the right influence, people tend to do the right things.
The Bible talks much of God’s mercy and compassion on Israel, and that He would even heal Israel’s backsliding if the people repented (i.e. Jeremiah 3:12, 22). If you study its history, there was a lot of backsliding. God said He would have compassion; not vengeance. He didn’t talk about what they deserved; rather, He revealed His mercy. God is a loving Father. He’s not some critical ogre who despises those who fail. He desires repentance and restoration. There are so many factors involved with why believers fall from grace that we couldn’t possibly address them now. Just know we are called to love one another, and as a result, restore the fallen when possible. Here’s a couple passages of Scripture to consider:
Galatians 6:1-5 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. 2. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. 3. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. 5. For each one will bear his own load (NASB).
James 1:19-20 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, 20. let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins (NASB).
